Title: I Wonder?! Author: Suzie Date: December 5, 1999 Disclaimer: Okay, I'm supposed to say that they're not mine, and that they belong to the Seven Network, Southern Star, Hal McElroy and I think that's all... [Even though I want them!] Although Izy's my creation, if you wanna use her you'll have to check with me first... I wouldn't mind seeing someone else have a play with her! Authors Notes: It would be advisable to read my mega long fic "Past, Present & Future" before reading this. It is one entry in Izy's diary. Happy reading! --- I Wonder?! --- Our teacher told us to keep a diary and when we were older we could look back and remember what it was like to be young. She said our first entry should be the longest and about our parents. I guess mine will only be half as long. I only have Mummy. But everyone at Mum's work is like a parent to me, Mr. Tom, Ben, Jack, Aunty Dashy, Nick, Jo, Nick, all of them. Dash, Nick, Zoe and Robyn don't live in Mt. Thomas. I wish that they did, it would be so much fun! Nick is so funny. He always says funny things to Adam, that's Dash's boyfriend. Mum told me the story about them. When Dashy had cancer. Mummy was so scared for her. But she won. Dashy & Adam, Nick calls him Adso, everyone does, I don't know why though. They come down from Melbourne for my birthday and Christmas because most of Dash's family lives here. Nick and Zoe come down with Miranda and Jeremy sometimes too. But they both work a lot Zoe's a doctor and Nick's a police man. Just like nearly all the adults I know. Dash and Adam used to be but Adam did bad things and Dash wanted to go on holiday's to other countries, so they left. Not together though. I like it when Nick and Zoe come down. They bring their kids, Miranda and Jeremy. And Nick tells me stories about Mummy, and PJ. PJ and Mum were boyfriend and girlfriend and it was a secret, but Nick said he knew and Dashy did too and then Mr. Tom found out and it was okay but then they don't know what happened Nick had gone and Dash left after that. Jo told me a bit and Jack told me, I think that they were going to get married and PJ found another girlfriend and went to Melbourne with her. Then Mummy was Ben's girlfriend, but not for very long. Jo said it was just a fling, whatever that is. I overheard Jack and Jo talking about it one day, she was doing it to get back at PJ for hurting her. They argued because Jack said that Mummy loved PJ and she always would and no one would ever come between them. And that I was proof of that. Jo wanted to know what he meant by that, but then Ben came along and they stopped talking and then they just looked at me. Then a while later Mummy had me. I wonder who my Daddy was? Some people say it's Ben, others say it's Jack and others think its PJ. I think it's a handsome man that Mummy loved very much. That would be nice. I would like to meet him one day, just to find out. PJ was handsome. I've seen some photo's of him and Mummy together. They looked so happy. Big huge smiles. Mum told me about a photo she misses very much. It's one of her and PJ and a baby called Rachael. She says it reminded her of the better days. Mr. Tom told me that they were very much in love. They were boyfriend and girlfriend for a very long time and then Ben came and he loved Mummy too. Ben told me a lot of things happened that I won't understand for a very long time. When I'm older he said he'd tell me about it. I always want to know what happened before I was born. Things were so interesting then. Not many interesting things happen now. I'm supposed to be writing about Mummy but it's fun just writing other stuff. Mummy loves me very much, she tells me all the time. I don't know what else to say about her, she's got blonde hair like me and she has dark eyes. She's very beautiful. I don't think I look like her. Chris does, she owns the pub, and she's a lovely lady. I don't know who I look like. I was talking to Jo one day about Daddy's. She loves her daddy very much. She talks about him all the time. I asked her about my Daddy and she said she didn't know who he was and when I asked her if it was Jack, or Ben or PJ she shrugged. I asked her what PJ was like. She didn't say anything for a while. Then she went into the kitchen at the house she shares with Jack and got out some photo's. One was a very beautiful one. It was taken in the garden's, I think it must have been a wedding or something. Mum and PJ were both dressed up and had their arms around each other. They were both smiling and Mummy had a pretty red dress on and her hair was on top of her head and she had ribbons in it. There were heaps of photos from that day, there was one of Dashy and Jo and Mum. They all looked very beautiful. Then I got to see one of Mummy and PJ kissing! Jo had a video of the day. It was so fun. I don't think Mum know that she has it. It was a little weird seeing it. Mummy and Jo danced with all the boys. It was funny watching Jack and Jo try to dance. Mr. Tom and Chris were good dancers so were Mummy and Ben. But when a slow song came on Mummy and PJ just stood and swayed from side to side and held each other. Jo said to me "they are very much in love there" I asked her how she could tell and she said I wouldn't understand. The song finished and Mummy and PJ walked off holding hands then Mummy sat on PJ's knee and he started feeding her food. They were laughing heaps. Then Mum walked in, she'd come to pick me up. She saw us watching the video and she made Jo turn it off and then started yelling at her. "Joanna, turn that off. Where did you get it from?" They both yelled a lot and then Mummy told me that we had to go and she stomped outside. Jo gave me a photo everyone and told me to hide it and look at it later so I put it down my pants and when I got home I went into the toilet and had a look. It had EVERYONE in it! Jack, Jo, Chris, Tom, Ben, Robyn, Nick, Zoe, Mummy, Dash, Adam and PJ. I wonder who took it? Maybe my daddy? I often ask Mummy who he is. I've never got an answer which makes me a little mad. All my friends have a Daddy or at least get to see them lots. I asked Ben one day if he was my Dad, he shrugged his shoulders and then the phone rang. I was watching TV the other night and I answered the phone. It was PJ. I had to pretend I didn't really know much about him. I didn't hear what Mummy was saying, I had to got and get my stuff ready to go to a friends house. When they came to get me I think Mummy had been crying. I have to go and have tea now. I'm at Anna's house because Mummy had to go to Melbourne with PJ because his Mum is sick. I hope this is long enough, I'll give it to the teacher tomorrow Love Isabel PS I really, really, really miss Mummy already!